Brass Eye - Decline
The boys are threatened with no crumble if they dont help assemble a wooden shelf, while Jims dog Wilson keeps doing his dollops in mum and dads flowerbed.
Columbine s sister, Cecilie, is destitute and needs help from Columbine. The only help she gets is a suggestion that she should marry the Duke D Onan, a repulsive man who prefers men to women.
After Lionel walks in on Sandy in the bathroom Jean decides to add a second bathroom. But, things don t go as planned.
It s a wild and stormy night. Deborah can t sleep because she has digestive problems and because the garden fence is flaping around in the wind. She solves this problem by sending Tony to fix the fence and sends Gary to the shops. In the middle of the nig
Caroline bags an invitation to meet her hero, Charles Dickens.
Twinkle has something weighing on her mind. In fact, everyone seems to be in a bad mood at the moment, so Philippa attempts to cheer everyone up by breaking the routine.
Daddy runs off to join the Foreign Legion. Hyacinth and Richard manage to find him, but he escapes again and runs riot at an art gallery - The same art gallery that Hyacinth and Richard have been invited to!
After a night of partying, Alison and Mike scramble to clean up the house for a venue viewing, and Alison tries to find out why the ghosts are acting so strangely.
Mike is feeling intense anxiety about the future. The couple look into selling some land, incensing Lady Button. Can Thomas finally become a published poet?
The big day at Button House has arrived, but some freak weather disrupts everyones plans.
Sleepless nights, confusion over chemicals and an EU farm inspection - just a normal day on the farm for Boycie and Marlene.
It s Spring and it s almost time for Hugo and Alice s baby s Christening. David Horton decides to get a different bishop to do the Christening as Geraldine will be one of the godparents. After a shocking turn of events, he finds himself in love with Geral
There is excitement in the canteen when news of a royal visit to the factory comes through. Nobody s very sure who s coming - Princess Anne doesn t do factories, Prince Edward does theatres - but they re all getting into a flap. When it turns out it s som
The Randy Old Ladies attack the milkman, and Kevin loses his virginity.
Stacey and Gavin return from honeymoon to a big welcome from both families. But Smithy seems none too happy with his best mate and Nessa has a confession to make that throws the whole evening into disarray.
Rodney gets a grant from the local college to make a film, but first he must come up with a viable screenplay. Del gets him a secondhand typewriter, and also suggests a storyline of A Rhino Loose in the City . To make matters worse, the director, Mickey
In order to cut costs Baines decides to employ illegal immigrant workers at Bayview. To Diana one incompetent foreigner, the gardener, is enough and, after the residents have staged a protest, order is restored. Tom has been overdoing physical exercis
Yvonne is out of town so Gary hopes to spend some time with Phoebe, but Gary s father George turns up and stuns him when telling a story about discovering a time warp in his youth.
Whilst Susan is away Ben takes part in a police identity parade, where he is picked out as being a mugger and remanded in a cell with hard cases Carl and Terry. They hire their brief to get him released but later turn up at his house, wanting to lie low,
Geraldine becomes a celebrity after appearing on ""Pause for Thought."" The villagers prepare for ""Dibley Gala.""
It s the day before Roger and Abi s wedding, but for this accident-prone couple, anything that can go wrong probably will, before the marriage is solemnized.
Our heroic couple find out that they re pregnant in this episode. As part of the pregnancy George endows Joyce with Ultronian powers, which she the uses to go about saving the day. The sub plot is Mrs. Raven convincing Piers that he is going to be on ""
On Customs and Excise duty, Briggs and Louis find themselves trapped in the back of a pilchard lorry - with a large quantity of diamonds.
Brass Eye - Sex
With Ben on a course Susan works late at the art gallery with handsome young Chris, whose advances she spurns. Next day he accuses her of sexual harassment and she has to attend a course. Janey advises her on how to call his bluff but salvation comes via
Monday 1st November 1999: Tony s holiday photo, the visiting blood donor unit and an escaped prisoner are all contributing factors to Bren s bad day.
Kim sets out into the real world for the first time on a secret mission. But after encountering hapless brothers Nicky and Jay at their local pub, a seemingly harmless prank sets in motion a series of events that sees them all on the run from murderous ga
When the Earl of Lisson is murdered, Briggs and Louis try to discover ""who dunnit"".
The Slobs begin to live the high life, and Tory Boy gives a conference speech.
George decides to throw a surprise 30th-birthday party for Janet.
When Prince George is involved in a hit and run accident, the palace does their best to try and cover it up not just from the country but also the King. However, their efforts are ruined when Princess Eleanor finds out the truth and decides that she can u
Something is up with Ollie. He and Darren are building a wardrobe for Albert in a small room and tempers begin to flare. Before long it seems everyone Ollie knows is revealing secrets, leaving him with a big decision to make.
Brass Eye - Crime
Gordon Brittas is explaining about safety at the building site where a new room is being made. Michael T. Farrell comes to Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre for a job which is advertised in the newspaper. Gordon is not at all pleased but gives Michael an ap
Ben and Susan go off to a couples retreat for a weekend - at which they prove to be less than ideal guests - leaving Janey and Michael vying for the affections of Michael s new boyfriend. However, the triangle proves to be more Bermuda than eternal.
George looks into the mind s of people and discovers what they are really thinking. He is not at all happy about it and Janet gets him out of it once again and none too gently.
Ben decides to sell his dental practice and take up a hobby which he finds even more boring, while Susan s move up the art gallery ladder leads to more than one fall.
The miniseries based on Lionel s book is finally aired on U.S. television. When Jean s sister-in-law Penny has to go into the hopital she thinks things are worse than they are and makes a big fuss.
Victor has been selected for jury service. He hasn t been required in court yet, but he is on call so he is stuck in the house all day and must somehow beat his boredom.
When her doctor tells her she is dangerously unfit, Hannah begrudgingly starts to eat healthily and heads to the gym. Meanwhile, Dan has managed to get himself a cleaning job at Hannah s office.
Mum s friend Val moves in and causes havoc when she finds that Dad is hiding a tin of 20-year-old meat in his shed.
Richard has had to take early retirement. Sadly for him, Hyacinth has many plans for his future.
When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of enfant terrible Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist s own urine.
Edina s home is a mess, and she has done some more remodelling as usual. The changes include a pool in her bathroom, and a shower that washes and buffs her like a car wash. Her new client Emma Bunton comes by to discuss new jobs. It turns out Saffron was
Vicky Pollard tries to con her way into a Blazin Squad gig. Daffyd is disgusted when barmaid Myfanwy marries her girlfriend Rhiannon. Lou and Andy go bowling, while Emily and Florence have a go at tennis. Kenny Craig has got himself a girlfriend; Harvey
Unnatural disaster strikes Miss Postern s classroom when Mr Barber spends the night there.
A psychiatrist and his wife come to stay and Basil thinks Sybil is telling them all about his life.
Tom brings a cat home in the hope of training it to work in television, making them stars. Meanwhile Linda starts writing to a serial killer in prison, and when he turns up on her doorstep they plan to run away together€¦ but then he falls for Tom.
A man can t help putting his foot in it with his gay son, Kevin gets caught in a web of lies, and we meet the talking corpse in the coffin Mister Dead.
Friday 9th April 1999: The canteen is being painted over the weekend. But when the decorators arrive early, Bren has to cope with all manner of inconvenience.
To prove how trendy he is, Ben accompanies an embarrassed Michael to a gay club, where he gets chatted up by the adoring Rupert, who follows him home and sends him flowers. It s down to Susan to rescue her husband - and wangle herself a free holiday at th
Briggs and Louis find themselves on an assignment in Jersey. It isn t long before they get on the wrong side of Jim Bergerac.
After losing a bet, Richie and Eddie are forced to spend a week camping in Wimbledon Common, and the only supplies they have are a tin opener and a packet of chocolate Hob-Nobs. However, their food problems may soon be solved, as Eddie plans on eating a W
Unknown to Basil, a guest dies in the night and he tries to serve him breakfast anyway and an obnoxious woman insists on service for her dog.
While Alison and Mike gear up to make a big investment, the Captain and Kitty work together with the other ghosts to solve an unfolding mystery before its too late.
Gary and Phoebe s wedding is drawing near, but will Gary s stamina hold out for two stag nights, 54 years apart?
The water board offer to solve Dibley s drought by relocating the town.
Tom decides to become a drama teacher, setting up a school in their flat. For his first lesson he manages to convince Linda s sister Sugar to learn from his wisdom. Jez and Suze have a new addition to their family, a life-size baby doll which is irrespons
Dan starts hanging out with his old crush. Hannah looks after a bossy American consultant.
Briggs and Louis mistake the new Superintendent for a stripper at Cattams farewell party.
When Ollie finds his dad Tony trying to rustle up work in a suspect manner, he decides to draw a line and make sure the business runs by the book from now on. Almost immediately Emma convinces him to break into an estate agents for her with the help of th
Constable Habib finds her younger sister holding drugs during a drug raid in a rave club, and hides the drugs to protect her, but she is discovered and charged for withholding evidence. Fowler, unhappy with the injustice, does his best to protect Habib.
A strange reversal of fortune overtakes Bayview with the hospitalised Baines seen as the victim and Diana his tormentor. She is sent to Coventry and there are threats of staff strikes unless she goes.Help comes from a most unexpected source - Marion, wh
Maeve butts heads with a prickly professor. Oceans apart, will her connection with Otis sizzle or fizzle? An attempted nude leads to a hairy situation.
At Susan s mother s funeral, Arthur, the father who abandoned the family thirty years earlier, turns up and takes such a dislike to Ben he offers his daughter a million pounds to divorce him. Is she able to refuse such a generous offer?
Although Louis and Briggs have been assigned to a security operation at Wembley Stadium, they have their minds on winning the police table football tournament.
A stag weekend in the Scottish Highlands quickly turns messy.
Eddie and Richie join Mrs. Lineker s Love Bureau hoping to find their perfect women. Richies video tells the viewers that he is, in fact, a Duke and this gets him a date with a countess from Moldavia. He invites her to his place and arranges for Eddie to
Lou and Andy visit the seaside. Dafydd is back in the village after watching a rugby match. Vicky Pollard shows off her new black boyfriend. In a quiet English church, worshippers are startled to hear visiting Harlem preacher, the Reverend Jessie King urg
A scathing review rattles Maeve s resolve. Adam and Michael bond over life as a bachelor. Ruby helps Otis with his campaign ” and his loneliness.
The outlaws unmask a traitor. Whilst reconciling their personal battles, they plan an audacious heist to steal evidence and take down the Dean.
Welcome aboard The Sacramentum. New recruit Jamie Walsh gets a crash course on ship life while trying to keep a low profile as he investigates what happened to his missing sister.
Elevator inaction sparks collective action. A sisterly argument years in the making finally boils over. Maeve makes things right ” and makes a choice.
Hannah starts dating a model and Dan helps a terminally ill man have one last adventure.
Eleanor has discovered that Queen Charlotte had an affair many years ago, the dates of which mean that Richard might not actually be the rightful King. She leaks this to the Archbishop, who in turn questions Iain, who is forced to ask Queen Charlotte ab
When Victor and Margaret return from their holiday, they discover that their luggage has been sent to the other side of the world, and that their house has been burned down.
Sharon needs eight grand up front when the landlords of her café want to increase the rent in line with her new lease. Tracey refuses to put her house up as collateral and Dorien, who has a few grand to dispose of for tax purposes, gives it to charity af
Inspector Fowler proposes to Sergeant Dawkins so as to help his chances for promotion, but his lack of sensitivity during the proposal prompts her to leave him instead. Fowler tries to find a new woman, but loses his interest when he hears that Dawkins is
Edina has a nightmare about Saffron s baby trying to stab her. It turns out that the face of the nightmare baby belongs to Saffron s midwife, who delights in teasing Edina about these nightmares. Edina expresses her displeasure about this baby. Saffron in
Wickys called to a remote lighthouse, where all is not what it seems. Will he survive seagulls, jellyfish, sea monsters and folk music?
Peter starts having nightmares about being tortured by enemy spies. At the office, Peter is asked what he knows about a Dr. Volganyn. Peter has read a paper by this scientist theorizing about an invisible radio system - a completely undetectable listening
Rodney breaks up the Trotter partnership to go it alone - with Mickey Pearce! Does Mickey s trip to the Costas mean that the duo are opening a Spanish branch already?
Nell goes to Newgate Prison to try and rescue Devereux, and Roxy and George meet their Uncle Jack.
Love is in the air for Tracey s son, Garth, but the course of true love runs anything but smoothly€ťparticularly when Dorien takes a hand.
Gordon Brittas is doing Urine tests on his staff. He thinks that the women in the centre are pregnant. Everyone is shocked and surprised especially Carole when she can t believe what she has heard. Gordon tells her that she may have to marry Colin if he s
Will decides to organise one last adventure for his friends before they all go their separate ways, so the gang heads off for a camping trip in the countryside. While Will draws on all his scout training, Jay, Neil and Simon are less than prepared for the
Hyacinth gets a chance to try some social climbing while borrowing her sister Violet s cottage for the weekend.
George gets himself a new life insurance policy and then kills himself to claim the cash. Now he has to figure out how to come back from the dead with Janet s help, or at least, Janet has to help him sort out another mess - yet again! This is easier said
Mr Gunn offers to help Miss Postern train for an Ironman competition.
A mysterious visitor arrives at Button House with a revelation that leaves Alison reeling. Mike has an epiphany on his first day at a new job, which causes Julian to remember his first day as a ghost.
Stacey and Gavin are still in conflict over where they should live, with Gavin refusing to even consider the idea of living in Barry. Smithy admits to Gavin that he had another fling with Nessa and realises he s going to have to face her again at the surp
Lionel trys to convince Jean that a dog has been following him. Judy and Sandy come home with the very dog that was following him. The women want to keep the dog but, Lionel wants to take him to the shelter so they can find his owner. The owner contacts t
After mixing their drinks at the policemen s ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner s wife.
Our intrepid heroine might lose her head... but she wont lose her cool.
Father Ted - Are You Right There, Father Ted
Diana is horrified to find that she is unaccountably in the red and goes up to London to cause a fuss, only to discover that all her investments have gone into receivership.Back in Bayview, Tom s room is suffering from severe rising damp so Tom comes up
Warren s weekend away with Anne and her mum and Dad is blighted by a raucous hen party. To make matters worse, he s worried about what Charlie and Danny are up to back home - with good reason.
When Lee goes to watch Benji playing football for a local under-13 team, he is unable to restrain himself on the touchline and becomes the competitive dad that all other parents want to avoid. Undaunted by the disapproval of Toby, who coaches the team, Le
Warren coaches Danny in the ways of love, and also buys himself a couple of chickens, causing next door neighbour Ian to become increasingly irritated.
Boycie s decision to motivate his lazy workforce has unforeseen repercussions. Marlene and Tyler turn against Boycie. Tyler is traumatised by the school art class.
Briggs and Louis have found their true vocation - the river police. With peace, quiet and the total absence of any type of crime, it seems like paradise. Then the boat runs into an unexploded WWII river mine...
Wicky heads to a crumbling, stately home ruled by Mrs Barton, its despotic housekeeper.
After drinking a lot at a reunion, Tom has trouble passing water and becomes very sensitive about it. He tries to keep it from Diana but his secretive behaviour initially leads her to believe that he is seeing another woman. Ultimately, he sees a doctor
A double of George named Hilary arrives to take George s place while he s away at an advanced super heroic refresher course. Hilary is still in training and is replacing George for 72 hours as part of his field training. Hilary goes into the clinic and
For her summer entertaining, Hyacinth Bucket has decided to host an elaborate indoors barbecue. In an attempt to compete with the Barker-Finchess, she is determined to get a celebrity to attend. Meanwhile Rose gives Daisy a make-over.
When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.
Following the death,alone, of a resident, Tom puts himself forward as a counsellor to aid and comfort the terminally ill. A new female resident arrives and has afternoon delight with old Basil. Some time later Basil seems to be dying and Tom rushers to
Mike and Alison reach boiling point over the BandB. Julian aims to prove he is more selfless than people think. A new addition triggers frightening flashbacks for Robin.
We start with a mini-film Il Postino Pat , then Big Bob is left holding the baby, while Frank Doberman discusses Jim Davidson.
With Raquel pregnant, Del Yuppy Trotter s plan to achieve millionaire status must move up a gear. So the chance to supply the cabaret at the Starlight Rooms for old friend Eric to the tune of 600 quid is too good to miss. With Raquel dusting off her v
Lionel is still worried about his money future and Alistair suggests he sell the country house. Lionel and Jean decide that they should sell the house but, who is going to tell Mrs. Bale and Lol they are out of jobs. Lionel and Jean go to the country to i
Tracy and Sharon are now living in their new house, as Dor comes to visit after her recent trip to Monaco. She comes back with the news that she slept with Ralph Gardener, head of Central Water, who is currently all over the media. She comes up with the
Whilst Mr. Kwok demonstrates karate to the Bayview males, who vie with each other to impress Jane, Tom is introduced to Jane s psychic, Marjorie Evans, and asks to be put in touch with his dead wife. A seance is duly organized, but Marion has bribed the
While Tony is in hospital having treatment, the staff are forced to suffer his formidable replacement.
The village of Dibley acquires a new vicar, but the Reverend Geraldine is a bit of a surprise, and a not entirely welcome one to some people.
Dalentrace is in jeaopardy as Sharon and Tracey sink into debt; Dorien s generosity cannot be a permanent solution. Tracey is becoming a decisive woman, and is taking matters into her own hands. Garth, meanwhile, decides to move in with his girlfriend Kim
A family tragedy wins Sharon s husband leave from prison€ťbut he takes the opportunity to do a runner.
Lucy has cooked a special meal so that she and Lee can spend an evening in without distractions to talk about the state of their marriage. But Lee is obsessed with a beeping noise in the house that he cant find, and the food is soon forgotten.
Mike and Alison welcome their first guests to the BandB, determined to get a five-star review. The Plaguers idolise Thomas, and Pat teaches Mary the joys and pitfalls of package holidays.
Tony becomes obsessively jealous when he thinks that Deborah fancies another man. Gary and Dorothy, Tony and Deborah spend a weekend in a caravan out in the country. Gary is trying to give up smoking.
One of the church s stained glass windows is broken during a storm (not The Great Storm, mind you), which sends the Reverend on a fund-raising mission among the well to do, especially David s friends.
A funeral for a pet bird inspires Geraldine to hold a special church service for all the animals of the village, despite opposition from David.
Piers get a new Mercedes. George works hard to buy Janet a car and Arnie gets his powers back.
Gordon Brittas is in Brussels being interviewed for European Commissioner of Sport. He keeps calling Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre to see how things are going. Laura is in charge and things aren t going well. A children s birthday party goes wrong and T
When Sharon And Tracy find out that their real father could be actor George Hamilton, Dor takes them on a trip to Hollywood to try and find out for sure. But chaos ensues when they sneak onto the backlot of George s new movie.